#hottest scene in the entire mcu
there's two things in life that i think about WAY too often that fuck me up and they're tuberculosis and radiation
tuberculosis: hey there was just this disease for a huge part of human history that killed literally 1 in 7 people like that was just a fact of life that it existed and then one day we found ways to deal with it and after that just being a terrifying constant facet of life suddenly it's just Not
radiation: hey there's this thing that literally Unravels Your DNA and things exposed to it need to be locked away in concrete tombs for eternity because it lingers for measures of time beyond our real ability to perceive
@catgirlasshole your tags are way too good to be hidden like that
wish both of you had kept your absolutely Horrid urls hidden
:(
villains are fine when they kill people I draw the line at being horrific parents though
maleficent? outstanding. go off. beautiful. mother gothel? I will kill you.
Guy who hates magic so much, I mean absolutely fucking detests it with all his heart, that it just has no effect when used on him
"Magic is fucking stupid, you've gotta be the lamest dork alive to use it"
*Wizard on the verge of tears after failing 8 consecutive times to cast a lightning bolt on this guy* "No it's.... no it's not...."
For the last decade or so, I’ve been routinely attending a ride-on lawnmower race. I’ve always wanted to participate, but the high cost of used mowers is better spent on more practical vehicles, like literally anything else. Sometimes, though, the universe sends you a message. And in my case, that message came in the form of an awkward leg of a huge trade-in scam.
Picture, if you will, the humble redneck. They await the approach of big, fast domestic mowers. John Deeres, Cub Cadets, even weird modified Chinese stuff they looted from Aliexpress. There is jubilance, but that soon comes to an awkward hush. An unfamiliar engine note approaches.
My International 1480 combine harvester, all ten tons of it, is barrelling down the highway at a clip somewhere between “tepid” and “jaunty.” Even though I have shown up for a race, I am sandbagging a little bit, making sure that the bets get settled against my vehicle before I show them the might of a fully operational monster such as mine.
Technically, there is no violation. I had looked at the rulebook from every angle in the previous year: it has the correct number of wheels, the proper agricultural intent, and with precise work on the tiller, it can even (poorly) mow a suburban lawn. Is it modified? Oh yes, yes indeed, but I see the nitrous bottles poking out from the rows of Kubotas at the starting line.
And when I leave the starting line, it is a thing of beauty. At least for a few milliseconds. It seems that the wizards at International Harvester simply did not comprehend of a situation in which the frame of their combine would be launched into the air by means of one thousand eight hundred foot-pounds of supercharger-bolstered torque. I had erroneously believed that the loose soil of the rural community would let the wheels dip in, but now I am facing directly into the sky, having twelve o’ clocked hard on my wheelie, shooting flames from my exhaust and whirling vertical blades of death towards the grandstand.
It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook.
“It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook. “
I am but a mild-mannered urban being and have no idea what happened in this story, but with all the Gods as my witness I am getting the above text put on a plaque and hanging it in my living room.
After deciphering this, the mental imagery is incredible holy shit. I need to explore this:
Ok so for a lawn mower race, most people are gonna show up on machines about this size
This is an average riding lawn mowers, the kind used for neighborhood lawns. A lot of middle-class households have one.
This is a Combine Harvester
This is the specific model op mentions.
This is not a domestic lawn mower. This is industrial farming equipment. It is BIGGER.
For perspective, a lawn mower would be about the height of one of the front wheels.
So op shows up to a Lawn Mower Race on this thing–which technically isn’t against the rules, since a harvester technically can be used to cut down grass.
Important to note: op has also apparently modified the engine. This isn’t just industrial farming equipment– it’s souped up industrial farming equipment. This is a Pimped Out Crop Harvester.
So op shows up to the starting line on this thing
and op GUNS it.
Here is a concise illustration of what happens next:
90 degree rotation skywards. Another fun detail is that the “whirling vertical blades of death” are now sticking out in the air, presuming twirling gesturing threatening like a maniacal edward scissorhands in the direction of audience bystanders.
And that is how you get some extremely specific phrases added to a rulebook!
made too many jokes abt being sexy and cool and accidentally developed an ego
This is literally how self-talk works. Congratulations, Mental Health Tumblr! The secret plan to make people stop feeling like shit is working!
Please help me out
I’m out of a job and needing to make money for some personal stuff, so I opened a little craft store.
Even if you can’t buy, please reblog so that this post can spread. Thanks so much!
there's no way to befriend office workers. they don't know why bitcoin is bad. did you hear me Susan? you don't even understand why b
someone asked me what my dream car is today. buddy I do not dream of having cars
theyre like wild beasts really. if you maul one to make an example then the others will learn to respect you and you can lead them around your locality committing crimes, atrocities, etc.
thanks! have always wondered how cars work
hi forza player here!! cars can go to heaven or hell depending on how you drive them